John John

Johnny "John John" Salerno born in the Aqua Club, Newark, New Jersey October 28th, 1901. FBI REPORT DETAILS:

ALIASES: JOHN, JOHNNY, JOHN JOHN, JOHNNY SALERNO, JOHNNY BATS, JONATHAN, JOHNNY SPOONS AND FORKS

HAIR: GONE

HEIGHT: 5'2

SEX: MALE

LANGUAGES: JOHN JOHN

WEIGHT: 391 POUNDS (IN 2012)

SCARS AND/OR MARKS: NOTICEABLE WART, LARGE AIRPOD HANGING FROM EAR

REWARD: THE FBI IS OFFERING A REWARD OF UP TO $100,000 FOR INFORMATION LEADING DIRECTLY TO THE ARREST OF JOHN SALERNO

REMARKS: AVID GAMER, SUSPECTED OF WALKING ON THE "BEACH" OFTEN, RIDES THE WILDWOOD STREETS LIKE A BOSS

Note: John John was convicted of the charges of "you know" and was sentenced to a long walk on the beach along with a surf ride to Vietnam. John John has returned and was greeted with open arms and lovely kisses from ███████.